So, as a birthday present to Dee, we took money out of the “jug” we’ve been saving for the last 10+  years and sent her to Illinois with her sister to visit her dad.  She and her dad talk all the time, but it’s been 8 years since she’s seen him.  The last trip was an emergency one that was spent visiting in the hospital, so not a relaxed, quality time visit.  With my parents living next door (and us still talking daily!), I truly can’t imagine what it would be like not to see them for so long.  Anyhow, a dear friend made the suggestion that would be a great present for her and that day I put it in motion.  It was exactly what needed to happen and I am beyond grateful for the suggestion and so glad it became a reality.
     Since the moment I dropped Dee off at the ferry, I’ve had an odd, unsettling feeling.  It’s only a few days but now I’m 100% responsible for the well being and daily running of the family…just me.  I can do it, that’s not the issue, it’s more that we are such a team in the household management that we can sense what needs to be done and we rely on each other to step in without a whole lot of discussion about it.  This feels very different.
     There’s more to it than just the family management.  I miss her presence.  I miss having someone to talk to or to just sit quietly next to.  It’s a deep ache.  It’s good, though, it’s good to miss someone.  It’s good to have time apart to know you miss them.  That may sound odd, but I’m glad we have this space.  After being together for 18 years, you tend to just take the relationship for granted.
     I plan to work harder on “us” when she gets home.  Take more time to build us up and spend more time together and have the conversations.  Put aside the busy day to day and focus on what’s important.