The struggle is real, people.  I have been diligent in counting calories and clean eating for awhile now and was doing great.  The last 2 weeks I have completely derailed and when I stepped on the scale yesterday, yeah, it wasn’t good.  Up 6 pounds!  How does that happen in just 2 weeks!?
I am someone who can not remember when I wasn’t aware of food and weight, since I was young.  It’s an awful mind game.
If you know me, you know I could mostly care less about what you think of my looks.  At times I have embraced the lesbian “uniform” of cargo shorts and t-shirts, other times I have done the little bit of make-up and effort at my wardrobe. Never have I gone full makeup and fancy clothes, just not my style.  I don’t like the why I feel when I weigh more.  My energy levels go down and the sadness kicks in.  It’s easy to say “just eat right and exercise”, right?  Easier said than done for someone like me who finds comfort and enjoyment in food.  A friend was describing the difference between her husband and her eating and it’s spot on.  He eats to live, and she lives to eat.  Yup.  I get it.
It may be surprising to the skinny folks out there, but there are so many days that I end up behind on my calories – my goal is 1200/day.  Pretty sure the image of a fat person at a dinner table includes gigantic portions and snacks all day long.  I rarely eat breakfast, maybe an egg or a few almonds or avocado toast before I run out the door.  Lunch is something pre-made or leftover (which I HAVE to get done so I have something to grab and go) and dinner is regular.  I try to avoid processed foods and serve/eat foods as homemade as possible.  I have found that sugar is hidden in EVERYTHING.  So, no fat free or low fat or reduced calorie and not much out of boxes.  Pretty sure we don’t need a bunch of chemicals in our bodies and real food just tastes better.  The convenience factor of the processed foods, that’s the lure.
So this morning, I got on the treadmill and made a grocery list for some soups, snacks and salads that I enjoy and can make ahead.  I will cut out the sugar (my weakness), push the water and get back to doing what’s right for my body so I can feel good again!