Ok, so Dee, Mary and I are headed off to Colorado tomorrow to go rafting with my brother (YAY!).  We will be out in the middle of nowhere on the San Juan River, with no access to cell phones or bathrooms.  This got me thinking that maybe we ought to get a FUD (Feminine Urinating Device) to make the whole bathroom situation a little easier.
Jumped online and saw that the Evil Empire had the Go Girl so last night I grabbed Levi and headed over to get one to surprise Mary and Dee.  The sales clerk, who was a little socially awkward, showed me where they would be on the shelf but they were sold out.  I asked if he could call to the Bremerton store to check if they had any and he reluctantly made the call.  That was awkward.  They were sold out as well and this sweet man was trying hard to give me other options.  I told him we couldn’t order online because we were leaving in a day, he asked if we could stop at a Walmart in Seattle or perhaps drive around and hit Cabella’s and get one.  Or maybe we could get one at the place where we were flying into.  As he was listing off my options, and I kept gracefully trying to get out of the conversation, I realized he was truly horrified and worried.  I told him it wasn’t a huge deal if I didn’t get one and he said, “Well, I would hate for you to not be able to pee for 4 days.”  Seriously?!  Did he think I wasn’t going to pee for 4 days?!  I told him not to stress, that I had managed for 43 years to pee when I needed to.
Oh and don’t forget that all this time, poor Levi was standing there absolutely mortified that I was talking about bathroom stuff with this man in the middle of a store. Ha ha ha, I know.  What 12 year old boy wants to hear that #1 their mom uses the bathroom  #2 is talking about it in public!
We left Walmart and headed to Big 5, where Levi’s embarrassment continued.  The clerks there tried to help but their only solutions were me taking a portable toilet on the plane (nope but tempted) and these weird bag things that catch the pee (hell no)
I had called REI earlier in the day and they, of course, didn’t hesitate to tell me they had Freshette in stock.  Levi and I headed there to get it.  He fell in love with REI and almost forgot why we were there.  I discreetly found what I was looking for plus a few extras, paid and as we were headed out he offered to carry the sack.  I was about to hand it to him when he reeled back and said “Holy cow, no way, I almost forgot what was in that thing!”
I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.  My sweet boy.  We talked a little about it on the car ride home and he was perplexed about why on Earth I would even want such a product.   I told him how it worked and he said “I could have saved you a lot of money there, mom, and got you a funnel”  His other main concern was that we would want to start using the men’s bathrooms.  Yuck, no.
So now we have our FUD and are packed and ready for the trip.  Not sure how it will work, but glad it provided some comic relief and a nice bonding time with my oldest boy.
If you want to read more about FUDs, click this link!